I’m Taking a Selfie of Me Judging Your Selfie

I’ve recently made a commitment to get back to writing. I used to be really good at it. I also used to be more modest. 

Here’s the deal…I’m going to attempt to write something every day. It might be interesting or funny, it may be an answer to a question or an observation. It may be completely irrelevant and uninteresting to you. But that’s why it’s my blog, right? So, here we go.

Today I wore dark lipstick.

Well, a lip stain/stick/gloss. I don’t know what it is. But it has the word cashmere in the title. Sounds expensive (it was) and luxurious (not really) and fancy (define fancy…). It’s the kind of product that would be in one of those monthly make-up subscription boxes. I can say and this and judge because I used to subscribe to one. Totally ok.

Anyway, I digress.

I’m wearing a burgundy lip shade, which is something I never do. I like neutrals and light pinks and quite frankly, I think they look better on me. But I was looking something different, something daring, something to help me forget I live in the ‘burbs now and a not a city. Burgundy seems like the shade up for the challenge.

Then it hit me. Outside of a few co-workers and the possibly of me going to get my car inspected at Jiffy Lube on my lunch hour, no one was even going to see it. In fact, no one would probably even notice.

So, I did what any woman would do. I documented via a selfie. 

Selfie: a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website.

I am not big on the selfie’s. They come off as self-centered and over indulgent…and tacky. I love hate scrolling through my Instagram feed and just seeing finger swipe after finger swipe of people taking selfies.

“New hair!”
“New shirt!”
“Look I’m at the beach!”
“Look at my boyfriend and me!”
“Look at this strategically planned moment that is suppose to look spontaneous and like this is my everyday life!”

#UhNoThankYou. 

Be here I am, 9am, in my place of work no less, angling my head to look just right and practicing my “shy but sexy” smile (yes it’s a thing, ok) and taking repeated shots of myself. Because I had to. Someone needed to know that I stepped out of my comfort zone this morning and painted my lips a very unnatural shade of red. Someone!

Now, the definition above defines a selfie as a photo that gets uploaded to social media. I couldn’t do it. I logged into my Instagram, I played with multiple filters, I thought about taking a new selfie to make sure I had gotten it right. But I couldn’t hit the post button. 

Why?

Because I am, clearly, the person who judges other people taking and posting selfies. I am one among many that finds the selfie-taking-craze to be ridiculous. At least, publicly. Privately, I snap those damn pictures like it’s nobody’s business. 

I won’t lie and say that posting a selfie doesn’t make me feel vulnerable. What if no one likes it? What if my burgundy lips are not a big deal? What if my face looks stupid? (A byproduct of taking selfies.)

So what did I do? I texted it to my husband. The one person I know will like it, no matter how weird, stupid, or glamorous (remember, it’s name is cashmere) I may look with my painted lips. The one person who will always say I look beautiful and who always likes me to send selfies (yes, I’ve done this more than once. I am a repeat offender and I feel no shame).

Because here’s the truth: When you take a selfie, I’m going to judge you. I’m going to think that you want attention and that you are seeking likes and comments and validation for whatever your motive is. And I’m probably right. But in the back of my head, I’m also going to give you a high-five, because you probably are in the midst of something you’re really excited about and want to share that with the world. Something like a new destination, a fabulous meal, or maybe a brand new lip shade that makes you feel like you’ve shaken things up…even if it’s just a little bit.

So, go forth and angle your head just right, take several pictures, and plan your photo like it’s a Vogue photo shoot – because why the hell not?

 

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